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How This Page Helped a Couple Adopt a Child

Last year, Phil (my husband) and I posted a note on this page, hoping that someone would read it and place a child. That note, we are delighted and gratified to say, has led to an adoption! And a happy one.

Through that page, we learned of a baby while we were in the middle of adopting a daughter of our own, so we passed the information on to another couple, who were close to us. They are now the parents of a newborn boy that they found through this site.

We particularly appreciate the warm, heartfelt response that we received from people on this site. We would like to thank all the people who have sent us email and suggestions, including the critical comments. We thought about all of them, they all helped us with our adoption search, and we are particularly gratified that we helped a child find parents who will raise him with all the love and care that two people can provide.

As for our own daughter, we love her more than anything in the world. Every day (as any parent knows) is a new and wonderful adventure. She is a happy baby, a joy to see in the morning and a joy to be with in the evening. Since both of us work at home, either my husband or I am with her nearly all the time, and we have gotten to know her many moods, her sounds, her flavors of laughter, her ways of seeing and being. Already many of the children on our block have come to think of her as a friend. Although she's not yet walking or talking, they visit her almost daily.

We also want to say that we got to know the birth mother and she got to know us through this process. We have a good relationship with her, and she remains glad that the baby is now with us. The adoption not only worked out well for us, but it worked out well for her. She has her life more together now, than it was when she decided on adoption, and she says that the adoption was a very positive turning point for her. She knows that she will be able to see the baby when the time comes, and that the child, as she grows older, will know all about where she came.

We now feel, more than ever, that this kind of adoption can be a wonderful, grace-filled experience and we are beginning the process of adopting another child. We do this, in part, because we very much want our daughter to have a brother or sister. We know already, from her personality, that she would be a great older sister. (She likes other kids so much!) And we think it would be better for her.

So, once again: if you know of a birth mother who would like to place her baby with adoptive parents, please give her our first names, Faith and Phil, and this toll-free phone number: 1-800-699-4557. Or, if you know of a doctor, social worker, or teacher, who might be able to put potential birth parents in contact with us, please feel free to copy this message to them, or to any place on the Web that would be helpful.

We should repeat some of the information about ourselves that we mentioned in our last letter. Phil is a successful writer, who has written and published a number of books, including a children's book. I am a part-time professor. Most importantly, we are loving, stable people who will provide a good home for a child. We also will pay all the legal expenses involved in a private adoption, and respect people's need for confidentiality.

We have been married for 11 years now. We have a in a suburb that is very kid-oriented, outside New York City. We live on a dead end street that is full of children, just a few blocks from both an elementary school and a playground. We became certified by New York State as qualified adoptive parents and we engaged an adoption lawyer.

Last time we wrote, we talked about how remarkable an experience this has been. That continues to be true. Concerns about privacy still prevent me from saying too much about it, but we now can say from experience that this process leads to happy adoptions. AFTER we adopted our daughter we learned that many people have either adopted a child, have an adopted relative, or were adopted themselves. We also learned that many more people than we had guessed arranged their adoptions privately, as we did. Last year, we sometimes heard the question: "Why are you going this route instead of going through an agency?" One reason why was the $20,000 fee and the three-year waiting period. But most of it had to do with the attitude we picked up from adoption agency people.

We still find ourselves walking a thin line around the privacy issue. On one hand, we have to maintain our privacy. And yet we have to publicize our quest. The more people who know about our desire to adopt a child, the more likely we are to be connected to a birth mother.

At any rate, thanks once again for listening...
Faith and Phil

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